i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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