I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
