My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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