I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
