with your own penis?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
God, I missed his penis.
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