I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
