I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
