HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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