dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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