there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
