Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
