I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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