Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
