Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
