i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
