I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
pray to the hookup gods
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
