So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We have started to decorate penises.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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