im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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