ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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