he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
