you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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