Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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