She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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