Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize