Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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