just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
