The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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