There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
