Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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