So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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