Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you win again, gameday.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
