and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
