I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm too high and old for this...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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