She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
