Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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