His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
