I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
