how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize