theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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