And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
