you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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