I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
