I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
