Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
