You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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