i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
