is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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