im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
