im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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