I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You're like the curious george of whores
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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