....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
