Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
