She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I deserve this hangover.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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