he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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