I am in a vortex of obligation.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm just crazy horny about you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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