More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
