I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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