i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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