So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My feet surprised me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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