We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
