But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
