he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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