is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
