dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Shame - the story of my life.
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